The owners of the Duke of Wellington are so embarrassed about how early they put up their decorations that they have refused to get back to me, suggesting they're already up. Shudder.
This week I'm going to the birthplace of the inventor of words himself, William Shakespeare. Don't panic, I know he didn't invent words as such, but he did coin some new terms such as fashionable, tranquil and birthplace. Why am I telling you this?
Message to Church Farm Barns, Stratford-Upon-Avon
"Dear Sir/Madam/proprietary type,
My wife and I have recently established a new group designed to combine both meditation and noise therapy. Our bunch of noisy meditators are looking for a location for an inaugural get-together and loved the look of your accommodation.
I was wondering if we could practise, undisturbed, within your beautiful grounds? There is nothing worse while one is wailing and meditating than having football fans wandering past and chanting about the cup or what have you.
Many thanks for taking the time to read this, I look forward to your reply.
Kind regards,
T. Lander, esq."
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