Kilcamb Lodge, Argyll

Excellent news for future patrons of Rowhill Grange.

Message from Rowhill Grange, Kent

"Dear T. Lander,

 Thank you for your enquiry,

 I can assure you that the shells you see in the photo are for decorative purposes only.

 Kind Regards,

 ***
 

 Rowhill Grange Hotel Reception

 Hotel Reception Team

 Rowhill Grange Hotel & Utopia Spa

 mailto:rghotel@alexanderhotels.com ¦ 01322 615136

 http://www.rowhillgrange.co.uk "

Message to Rowhill Grange, Kent

"Many thanks, ***. So to confirm, your fine hotel still employs the use of toilet paper?

Kind regards,

T. Lander, esq."

Message from Rowhill Grange, Kent

"Dear Mr Lander,

Yes I can confirm that we have toilet paper at the hotel.

Kind Regards,

***

  

Rowhill Grange Hotel Reception

Hotel Reception Team

Rowhill Grange Hotel & Utopia Spa

rghotel@alexanderhotels.com ¦ 01322 615136

www.rowhillgrange.co.uk"

Message to Rowhill Grange, Kent

"Thank you again ***, that's a relief."

I'm not certain how long their policy of using paper will last for so if you're planning on visiting in the next couple of years it still may be worth taking your own.

Message to Kilcamb Lodge, Argyll

"Dear Sir/Madam/proprietary type,

I bought my family a Christmas experience in that I acquired a snow machine, only to find that it is a bubble machine with a sock attached to the front. The product it ejects is neither cold nor delicious and I'm almost certain that our case of loose bowels last weekend is down to our consumption of the product.

I am looking for a hotel that offers real snow and was wondering if you are experiencing this yet? I am quite willing to pay extra, particularly if you have acquaintances who may be looking to buy a snow machine. I would suggest that you advise them never to eat artificial snow, however.

Kind regards,

T. Lander, esq."