I was more than a little hoping that the Magdalen Chapter would have returned my mail as overattending events is what I do best. At least if I'm at home the surroundings are familiar as I re-enjoy breakfast, I guess.
Message to Rowhill Grange, Kent
"Dear Sir/Madam/proprietary type,
One of the pictures on your website depicts a luxurious looking bath with all the trimmings one might desire to relax in comfort. However, I notice on the footboard (?) of the bath are three seashells held on their own individual stands.
I was a huge fan of the film Demolition Man when it was released but I did not realise that some of the futuristic events were based on real life. When the officers joke about Mr. Stallone being unaware of how to use the three seashells I genuinely took this to be a piece of science fiction yet it now appears that I am in the same position.
Do you offer an instruction leaflet for the devices or is it a simple procedure that you believe I will pick up naturally?
Kind regards,
T. Lander, esq."
For those who haven't seen Demolition Man, the three seashells replace toilet paper. For those who think I'm making this up:
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