Sunday, 26 July 2015

The Kings Arms, Temple Sowerby

Damn the law in this Country, keeping our privacy safe (for now).

Message from The Royal Hotel, Isle of Wight

“Dear Mr Lander

Further to your recent email, due to the data protection act we are unable to pass on information of guests who have stayed in the hotel.

You may however find the following article, about The Royal Hotel's history, answers your queries.


If we can be of any further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Kind regards


Reservations

Message to The Royal Hotel, Isle of Wight

“Dear All,

Many thanks for your informative and prompt reply. Do you have any information as to when the Data Protection Act lapses and the Freedom of Information Act takes over for this subject? I realise I'm stepping on your right to privacy with my right to free speech but this world is so full of paradoxes. Your revelation of Robert Plant makes me think you may drip feed me further celebrities in the future but I realise my patience is most likely to bring reward so I will desist from my badgering (which makes me think Brian May).

I have been to the Isle of Wight before but the occasion was blighted with glass in my foot, being too young to drink and the death of our own Princess Diana. I hope to return to at least spend a week without another royal death, although one cannot plan for these things I realise.

Many thanks again and I look forward to the possibility of, but not the definite eventuality of, a further reply. Perhaps just a Daphne and Celeste or Gina G will keep me going for now?

Kind regards,

T. Lander, esq.”

Ominously there was no return. I think we all know what that means. Onward.

Message to The Kings Arms, Temple Sowerby

"Dear Sir/Madam/proprietary type,

There is a photo on the main header of your website featuring a gentleman in a white shirt, a young man in white and a lady in a purple shirt. While their attire is nothing to put potential visitors off their stance is; what I mean is that they look like they are leaving despite having no dinnerware, making me think they've received slow service or arrived on a day when the kitchen was closed. As a hungry individual I wish to be given the impression that the kitchen never closes despite my realisation of the contrary.

I am willing to put myself and my family forward to be models in a replacement shot of the same image as the beautiful scenery and charming weather really make me want to visit your fine hotel. For this we would simply need travel and accommodation due to the fact that we are not professional models and I believe my children, as good as they are, may need some direction.

I am more than happy to help with this, please do not send any gifts of thanks. I look forward to receiving your reply.

Kind regards,

T. Lander, esq."

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