Sunday, 30 August 2015

Wivenhoe House, Colchester

I've well and truly lost sight of the doner van. Life's so unfair sometimes.

Message to Wivenhoe House, Colchester

"Dear Sir/Madam/proprietary type,

I notice from your site map that you have a campus nearby for Essex University students; with this in mind I would like to ask if you have many pranks or unsavoury activities affecting the guests of your hotel?

I once stayed in a Russian hotel that was mere feet from a community college and the antics of the students were enough to make my poor wife blush. I saw underwear on more than one occasion and a young man was almost sick on my brand new shoes. We passed a large group on one occasion and, although I couldn't understand what they were saying, it sounded derogatory and boorish.

Many thanks in advance for this information, I look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards,

T. Lander, esq."

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