I was contacted by the Four Seasons last week but it was a message to say that my enquiry had been passed on to a more skeptical, less likely to reply department. I sometimes wish I had one of these departments to filter messages into...always dream big.
Message to the Royal Berkshire Hotel, Ascot
"Dear Sir/Madam/proprietary type,
Though it shames me to admit I used a false identity, I require some information as I am currently staying in one of your rooms.
Without prejudice, would you mind confirming the level of cleanliness required by yourselves before we leave the room? For example, are there any stains you would not wish left for your staff? I'm asking on behalf of the room next door.
I hope you can provide a swift response.
Kind regards,
T. Lander, esq."
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