The proprietary types at Wolds Village are obviously more than happy for my business to be discussed among their other clients. I am outraged...but not enough to write to them again.
Message to Balfour Castle, Orkney
"Dear Sir/Madam/proprietary type,
May I start by saying what a unique and stunning accommodationary venue you are offering to the public, my heartiest congratulatory blessings are cast forthwith in your directional vicinity.
I have some concerns about one of the activial functions you offer should we decide to stay in one of your fine rooms - how easy is it for an amateur like myself to hit one of your clay pigeons? Are they modelled on the larger birds found in Trafalgar Square or would they more accurately represent the undernourished specimens of Somerset?
My reason for asking is that I am approaching with some sharp shooters and I would hate to look foolish despite my amateur status.
Kind regards,
T. Lander, esq."
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