It's back to business as usual since the Summer Lodge chose not to inform me of their facilities for martian attack so I have decided to look elsewhere. This week's hotel is happy to cater for any occasion as advertised on their website but I couldn't see where the restrictions on pets may have been so I thought I'd get in touch to ask.
Message to Netherstowe House, Lichfield
"Dear Sir/Madam/proprietary type,
I was perusing your website and was astounded by the quality of your facilities to the point of joining you all for dinner and a sojourn in the very near future. One condition I could not place on your site is the welcoming of pets however, a term that I believe would be a deal breaker.
I realise it is unusual for hotels of your quality to allow animals within your property due to their indifference to soiled sheets and fur deposits, however I thought I would enquire before I made my reservations as I cannot travel without Archbishop Dufresne nor would I ever choose to.
To summarise, I guess I would like to know whether I can bring my monkey to your fine establishment. He is partially toilet trained (he urinates on the porcelain but still insists on defecating in the grounds of the estate) and may even serve to attract further guests if your advertising executives are worth their salt.
I thank you for taking the time to read this and we both look forward to your reply in due course.
Kind regards,
T. Lander, esq."
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